things have been moving rather rapidly in my brain of late; it’s all been happening on Twitter, all furiousness and changerly to my paradigm settings. i thought this eco-thing was about finding the best way to ‘do things’, about settling for a way of life that was as un-destructive as possible, returning the countryside to the animals, re-wilding the self, both internally and externally; spending extended periods of time in the woods. i am a child of the woods after all, even if it maybe that suburban, human-styled kind of woods we are all so familiar with today;
i was wrong. totally and fundamentally wrong.
but i don’t yet know what is right. i am swinging somewhere in the air without anything to put my feet on. it’s glorious.
i was reading george monbiot. and i was very happy that he was rewilding himself and trying to rewild everything else he could get his hands on. then I went for a walk and got into a heated argument with a paysagist cutting the last ten centimetres around the edge of the hay field next to my house one morning and then i got into another argument with a dairy farmer on Twitter. but i was slowly coming round to his point of view; my paradigms were inequavibly changing; everything i was holding dear about my place in the environmental movement was disappearing. i was an earth mother, a tree hugger and a zero plastic advocate; i was even on the waiting list for an electric car four days ago. now i am none of those things;
i don’t know what i am any more. i love it. i am completely open to interpretation. so, anyone wanting to come in and influence me, sow seeds into my newly ploughed soil, rewrite my tabla rasa, my program, please, go straight ahead. im not sure that I will be listening.
I don’t know how it happened but somewhere in the scuffle and confusion i came across the name tim morton. dear lord. i then read the name björk and I knew that
THIS IS IT
and then all of a sudden things were a-flutter and i remembered something deep inside and it was incredible; all the opportunities were suddenly available, all the directions could be pursued, and yet and yet there was nothing.
and i remembered a tune that used to just sit on loop for most of the day as i would get lost in it …